Groomsmen Duties: What Is Expected, What Is Optional, and How to Be a Great Groomsman

TLDR: Being a groomsman means showing up, suiting up, and supporting the groom through one of the biggest events of his life. The duties are less intensive than the best man's but still require time, money, and emotional presence. ThePerfectWedding.com's planning experts break down exactly what is expected of a groomsman, what is above-and-beyond, and how to handle the role without stress or financial strain.

Key Facts at a Glance

• Groomsmen spend an average of $400 to $1,500 on their role (suit, bachelor party, travel, gift) (Source: The Knot, 2025)
• The average US wedding has 4 to 6 groomsmen (Source: WeddingWire)
• Groomsmen are expected to attend the bachelor party, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and wedding (Source: Brides.com)
• The #1 groomsman frustration: unclear expectations about duties, costs, and timing (Source: Zola)
• See our best man duties for the leadership role and our suit guide on ThePerfectWedding.com

Required Duties

Get the suit

Purchase or rent the designated suit by the deadline the groom or best man sets. Get measured promptly. Attend any group fittings. Have alterations done on time. If budget is a concern, communicate with the groom early. Many grooms offer flexibility on accessories while keeping the suit consistent. See our suit style guide for what to expect.

Attend the bachelor party

The bachelor party is a must-attend event (unless genuinely impossible due to distance or finances). Contribute your share of the costs. Show up on time. Participate with enthusiasm. If you cannot afford the planned trip, tell the best man privately and early so alternatives can be found. See our best man duties for how the party is organized.

Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal is where you learn the processional order, your altar position, and the ceremony cues. It is not optional. The rehearsal dinner afterward is your thank-you for showing up. Be on time. Be present. See our processional order guide.

Be on time, every time

On the wedding day, you will have specific call times for photos, lineup, and ceremony. Being late disrupts the timeline for everyone. Set multiple alarms. Leave a buffer for traffic. The best man will send a schedule. Follow it.

Walk in the processional

Walk down the aisle at the rehearsed pace, in the rehearsed order, with the rehearsed partner or solo. Smile. Stand tall. Hands at your sides or clasped in front. Do not fidget at the altar. You are in every wide-angle ceremony photo.

Support the groom throughout the day

Keep the groom calm, hydrated, fed, and on schedule. Hand him a water bottle. Make him eat something before the ceremony. Distract him if he is nervous. This is the real duty beneath all the logistics: be a good friend on the biggest day of his life.

Above-and-Beyond (Optional but Appreciated)

Help with setup or logistics

Moving boxes, setting up signs, transporting items to the venue. Not required but deeply appreciated. If the couple does not have a wedding planner, groomsmen who volunteer for setup are heroes.

Dance and keep the energy up

Hit the dance floor early and stay. Groomsmen who dance get the party started. An empty dance floor kills reception energy. Be the first ones up after the couple's first dance. Bring the energy.

Coordinate rides for guests

At the end of the night, help guests find rides home. Call rideshares, point people toward shuttles, or ensure nobody drives who should not. This is an act of service that the couple will hear about and appreciate.

Financial Breakdown

What groomsmen typically pay for

• Suit or rental: $150 to $800
• Shoes: $50 to $200 (if not already owned)
• Bachelor party share: $100 to $500
• Wedding gift: $75 to $200
• Travel and accommodation: varies by location
• Grooming: haircut, accessories ($30 to $100)

Total: $400 to $1,500+. If finances are tight, talk to the groom. Most grooms would rather adjust expectations than have a groomsman in financial distress. No friendship is worth debt.

What the couple typically pays for

• Groomsmen gifts: $50 to $150 per person
• Boutonnieres: Part of the floral budget
• Rehearsal dinner: Covered by the hosts
• Day-of meals and drinks: Covered by the wedding catering

Expert Tip: "The groomsmen who get invited to every wedding are the ones who show up fully. Not just physically but emotionally. They write a card. They pull the groom aside and tell him they are proud of him. They dance with the grandmother. They help stack chairs at the end of the night without being asked. Being a groomsman is not about standing in a suit. It is about showing up as a friend in every way that matters."

Sarah Glasbergen, Founder at ThePerfectWedding.com

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I say no to being a groomsman?

Yes, gracefully. If the financial commitment, travel, or time commitment is genuinely impossible, decline with honesty and kindness: "I am honored that you asked, but I cannot commit fully right now, and you deserve a groomsman who can be 100% present." Offer to attend as a guest and support from the sidelines.

What if I do not get along with another groomsman?

Be an adult. The wedding is about the groom, not your interpersonal dynamics. Be cordial, professional, and pleasant for the events. You do not need to be best friends. You need to stand next to each other in a suit and smile for photos.

Do I need to give a speech?

Only the best man is expected to give a full speech. Groomsmen may offer a short toast at the rehearsal dinner or reception if the couple invites additional speakers. See our best man speech guide for the main speech and our short toast examples for quick toasts.

What do I do during the ceremony?

Stand, smile, stay still. Face the couple or face the audience (the officiant will direct you). Do not fidget, whisper, or check your phone. You are in every wide shot. Stand with good posture. If the ceremony is long, shift your weight subtly between feet. Do not lock your knees (this causes fainting, and yes, it happens at weddings).

More Groom Guides on ThePerfectWedding.com

See our suit style guide, grooming timeline, best man duties, groomsmen gifts, groomsmen proposal ideas, and accessories guide. Prepare with our processional order and day-of timeline. Find suit shops on our vendor directory.