Bouquet Toss and Garter Toss: Traditions and Ideas

A good toss is three seconds of chaos, laughter, and one very competitive aunt. Whether you keep the tradition, twist it, or skip it entirely, the only rule is that it should feel like your kind of fun.

What is the bouquet toss?

The bouquet toss is a long standing reception tradition in which the bride gathers the single guests, turns away, and throws her bouquet over her shoulder. Folklore holds that whoever catches it will be the next to marry, which is why it tends to produce a lively, competitive scramble.

According to ThePerfectWedding.com's reception traditions guidance, the toss is popular because it is quick, photogenic, and gets the room laughing. It usually happens during the reception, often around the same time as the first dances or later in the party once everyone is loose and having fun.

What is the garter toss?

The garter toss is the traditional counterpart. The groom removes a garter worn by the bride, often with a bit of theatrical flair, then tosses it to the single men in the same way, with the same legend about who is next to marry. In some versions, the man who catches the garter and the woman who catches the bouquet share a dance.

The garter toss is the more divisive of the two traditions. Some couples love its playful, cheeky energy, while others find the garter removal uncomfortable in front of family. There is no obligation to include it, and skipping it is a common, completely acceptable choice.

Do you have to do the toss?

Not at all. Both tosses are optional, and plenty of modern couples skip one or both without a second thought. Reasons vary: a guest list with few single people, discomfort with singling people out by relationship status, or simply a different vibe in mind for the reception.

If the traditions do not feel right for you, drop them guilt free, or swap in an alternative that includes everyone. The goal is a celebration that feels like yours, not a checklist of customs performed out of habit.

How to do the bouquet toss well

If you are keeping the bouquet toss, a little planning makes it land. Order a smaller, less expensive toss bouquet so you can keep or preserve your real one. Coordinate the timing with your DJ or band and your photographer, since the moment is fast and easy to miss.

Pick an upbeat song to build energy, gather the participants on the dance floor, and give a clear countdown so your photographer catches the throw and the catch. A quick aim over the shoulder toward the middle of the group keeps it fair and fun.

Modern alternatives to the toss

If you want the spirit of the toss without the traditional format, there are warm, inclusive alternatives that often photograph beautifully and avoid singling anyone out.

Here are popular options and what makes each one special:

Alternative	How it works	Best for
Anniversary dance	Married couples dance; the longest married pair gets the bouquet	Honoring lasting marriages
Bouquet gift	Present the bouquet to a special guest, like a grandmother or mentor	A heartfelt, personal moment
Breakaway bouquet	A bouquet built to split into smaller bunches for several guests	Sharing the luck around
Bouquet donation	Give the flowers to a hospital or care home after the day	A meaningful gesture
Skip it entirely	No toss at all, keep the party flowing	A modern, fuss-free reception

Tips for a great toss moment

Whatever you choose, a few touches elevate it. Brief your photographer on the timing and the format so the reaction is captured, and pick music that matches the energy you want. If you are keeping a traditional toss, make participation feel optional and lighthearted rather than an obligation.

Be mindful of your guests too. Singling people out by relationship status can feel awkward for some, so an inclusive framing, anyone who wants to join, keeps the moment joyful for the whole room rather than putting anyone on the spot.

When does the bouquet toss fit in the reception?

Timing keeps the toss feeling like a highlight rather than an interruption. Most couples slot it into the later half of the reception, often after dinner and the first dances, once guests are relaxed, the dance floor is warm, and the energy is high. Work it out with your DJ or band so it flows naturally out of an upbeat song rather than stalling the party.

If you are doing both the bouquet and garter toss, they usually happen back to back, with the garter toss either just before or just after the bouquet. Keep the whole sequence short and punchy, a few minutes at most, so it lands as a burst of fun and then rolls straight back into dancing.

Give your guests a moment of warning too. A quick announcement that the toss is coming lets those who want to take part gather without a scramble, and lets everyone else grab a spot to watch and cheer.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Tossing your real bouquet. Order a smaller toss bouquet so you keep or preserve the original.
• No heads up to your photographer. The moment is fast, so coordinate timing so it is not missed.
• Forcing the garter toss. If it feels uncomfortable, skip it. It is the most optional of all.
• Singling guests out awkwardly. Keep participation light and optional, or choose an inclusive alternative.
• Bad timing. Slot the toss into the reception flow with your DJ rather than interrupting the party's peak.

Traditions are only worth keeping if they still mean something to you. Toss the bouquet, gift it to your grandmother, or skip the whole thing and pour another round. Your reception, your call.

Sarah Glasbergen, Founder at ThePerfectWedding.com

Frequently asked questions about the bouquet and garter toss

• What is the bouquet toss?

  A reception tradition where the bride throws her bouquet over her shoulder to a group of single guests, with folklore saying the catcher will be the next to marry.

• What is the garter toss?

  The groom removes a garter worn by the bride and tosses it to the single men, the parallel to the bouquet toss, with the same legend about who marries next.

• Do you have to do the bouquet and garter toss?

  No. Both are entirely optional, and many modern couples skip one or both, or swap in an alternative that suits their guests better.

• Should I toss my real bouquet?

  It is smarter to order a smaller, less expensive toss bouquet so you can keep or preserve your real one as a memento.

• Why do some couples skip the garter toss?

  Some find the garter removal uncomfortable in front of family, or prefer not to single guests out by relationship status. Skipping it is common and acceptable.

• What are good alternatives to the toss?

  An anniversary dance, gifting the bouquet to a special guest, a breakaway bouquet shared among several people, donating the flowers, or simply skipping it.

• When does the bouquet toss happen?

  Usually during the reception, often around the time of the first dances or later in the party once the energy is high. Coordinate the timing with your DJ or band.

• How do I make the toss moment great?

  Use an upbeat song, give a clear countdown, brief your photographer so the throw and catch are captured, and keep participation light and optional.